Copyright (c) 2010 Ted Sikkink
The statistics of divorce in the United States certainly indicate that a large number of couples resort to this decision when the relationship goes bad. These couples have asked, “Is my marriage worth saving?” and come up with a resounding “no” as their answer. However, it is never easy to choose the path of divorce with a person you once loved, especially if children are a part of the equation. If your marriage has hit a rocky point, you may be asking yourself, “Is my marriage worth saving?” Read on to find some ways to determine whether you should put on the brakes or work through your issues.
Look at Yourself Take a long look at the person you are now and the one you were before the marriage before asking yourself, “Is my marriage worth saving?” When a marriage relationship causes one spouse to compromise his own identity, beliefs and interests, then it is possible the marriage can’t be saved. If you are constantly worried about your marriage, or find that you no longer do things you once enjoyed, the problem may be larger than you can solve. When you find that you have lost a sense of your own identity in the marriage relationship, the union may be beyond repair.
Look at the Marriage When a couple is asking, “Is my marriage worth saving?”, chances are they both have distinct ideas about what the specific problems might be. Unfortunately, the perception often involves blaming the other spouse for the ills in the relationship. If a marriage is going to be saved, both partners must be willing to realistically look at the problems in the relationship and take responsibility for their own contributions. It often takes the help of an objective third party, like an experienced marriage counselor, to identify the core reasons for the problems and provide a strategy for working them out.
Look at your Family While many couples may be convinced that divorce will be better for the children, most statistics do not agree. Children of divorced couples suffer many negative results of the breakup, and some do not every recover fully from the experience. There is a sense of insecurity that develops in children after a divorce, and sometimes that insecurity will linger for a lifetime. If children are a part of the question “Is my marriage worth saving?” most therapists will agree that parents should try everything possible to work out differences before considering divorce.
Marriage is not an easy job, but they do not have to end in divorce. When asking, “Is my marriage worth saving?” take everyone involved in the marriage relationship into consideration. Identify the problems in the marriage and determine whether those problems can effectively be solved. More often than not, a marriage can be saved and the family unit preserved.
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