Can my broken marriage be saved after a separation? There are many reasons to be hopeful when trying restore your marriage after an estrangement. Often a separation can be helpful for a marriage in crisis. Especially if the time apart can serve as an occasion for you and your spouse to take a break from the emotional strain of your marital troubles. Take the opportunity to evaluate your relationship and mend your wounds. When you are ready, you can bring the best of yourself back to the marriage. You will be prepared to make your marriage healthier and stronger than it was before.
What should I do to reconcile my marriage? When you feel that you and your spouse have been able to restore emotional balance, the time will be right to give your marriage a second chance. With a renewed optimism and a clean slate, saving your broken marriage will be a very straight forward two-step process.
First Step: Reconnect emotionally. Did you know that being married gives you an advantage when it comes to love? Studies have shown that couples with a shared history have the ability to rekindle romantic love with little effort. The bond that has developed throughout the course of your long-term relationship is what gives married couples the power to reignite the flames of passion. Do you know how to use this power to benefit your broken marriage? Meaningful and intimate conversations and participating in some novel activities together will encourage the release of dopamine in the brain and trigger feelings of romantic love. The activities can be unique to your relationship but they should be activities that will bring you together as a couple. Here are some general ideas to think about:
go for a short drive to a neighboring city and have lunch
cook a candlelight meal together at home
treat your spouse like it’s his/her birthday for one day
re-enact your first date
attend a wedding together
Tip: Offer an abundance of eye contact and light-hearted conversation (no problem-solving yet, just casual banter).
Second Step: Learn Conflict Resolution. Purge your relationship of the bad patterns that you’ve established in your marriage and replace them with new, more productive ways of problem solving. Follow these guidelines when beginning to establish your new and improved method of communication.
avoid arguing during emotional flare-ups
keep your expectations realistic
problem solve as a “team” and work toward a common goal
start small and realize that not everything has the perfect solution
identify and solve the problems, don’t obsess over the symptoms
Remember, your spouse chose to marry you for a very good reason, you were a good match and you still are! So, be yourself and let your partner remember why they fell in love with you in the first place. Utilizing the two approaches above will verify how valuable your marriage is. But it will also rekindle old feelings of attraction and draw your spouse back to you.